Library and Corridor , 27 March 1976

  • Jan. 16th, 2011 at 7:51 AM
lilium_evansiae: (I'm not sure)
She's let this go a week longer than she knows she should have.

It's just that she likes Jeremy, she really does, just not the way she should if she's going to be dating him.

Though she also likes dating him, though not for the reasons she knows she should. She likes dating him because it's ... it's restful. Maybe even soothing. He doesn't ask much of her, and it's like sanctuary or some kind of oasis from everything else going on in her life. He smiles when he sees her, every morning from the Ravenclaw table. And he's perfectly content to kiss her hello and then sit across a table from her in the library and study in silence for an hour or two. Or to walk around the castle or the grounds and talk about books, tell her stories about the bookshop, listen to her talk about the books her father fills their house with.

But those aren't reasons to date someone. Or maybe they are, but they're pretty selfish reasons to date someone.

In short, she's using him, and she knows it.

And that's not the kind of person she wants to be.

So today, she meets him in the library during free period, as planned, but she's brought none of her books with her, because she won't be staying to study.

Jeremy looks up when he hears her coming, smiles the way he always does, and for one moment Lily feels like she's about to drown a kitten. And then Jeremy notices her empty hands and frowns.

"Did you forget your books?" he asks.

Lily shakes her head. "No. D'you mind if we go for a walk?"

Because she is not about to break up with Jeremy in front of the glareful eye of Amity Root.

"Sure," Jeremy says, easily enough if faintly puzzled. He closed his books, puts them and his parchment and his pen back into his bag, and Lily wishes he would just hurry up, just let her get this over with so she can go get back to feeling horrible about the whole thing with a clear conscience.

"Is something wrong?" he asks, when they've reached the corridor.

"Jeremy, I ... " she says, and then stops. Because for all she thought about this, she still has no idea what to actually say.

"It's all right," he says, quietly.

She stops walking and looks at him. "What's all right?"

"That you're breaking up with me," he says. "That is what you're trying to do, isn't it?"

"Jeremy ... "

He leans down and kisses her once, very gently. "It's all right," he says, again.

"I think you might be kindest person I've ever known, Jeremy, but I just don't ... I don't feel about you the way I should. I'm so sorry. I really wish ... "

"Lily," he says, shaking his head. "It's okay. Really."

"Thank you," she says. "For everything. One day you're going to meet a girl and you're going to tell her about me and she's going to tell you I was an idiot, and when she does, you really ought to agree with her."

"Maybe I will," Jeremy says, with a sad little smile. "You should go now."

Lily nods. "Yeah. Good-bye, Jeremy."

"Good-bye, Lily."

OOM: Valentine's Day, 1976

  • Jan. 8th, 2011 at 2:05 PM
lilium_evansiae: (watch what I can do)
Lily looks into the mirror again, like she's checking her hair one last time.

Actually, she's wondering for the fifteenth time this morning why she thought this was a good idea.

She's barely knows Jeremy Flourish. And it's Valentine's Day.

And, yeah, all right, she's spent some time with him since he asked out, but mostly, they've studied together. They haven't had to talk.

God, what the hell are they going to talk about?

"You look fine, Lily," Mary says.

Mary is sitting cross-legged on her bed, braiding her hair. Cliona and Glynis and Perdita have already gone. Mary is, as Mary generally is, running just slightly behind.

Lily is just stalling.

"Thanks," Lily says, turning away from the mirror. "I guess I should ... unless you want me to wait for you ... " she adds, hopefully.

"No need," Mary says. "I'll be along in few minutes."

"Oh. Well, um, all right," Lily says. "I should go, then, shouldn't I?"

"Lily?"

"Yes?"

"Look, do you want me to tell him you're not feeling well and you can't make it?"

"That obvious, huh?" Lily says.

"To me, yeah. But if Cliona and Perdita and Glynis had noticed, they'd be here, right? Well, maybe not Cliona, what with Fenton waiting for her," Mary says, laughing a little. "But Perdita would be here."

"True," Lily concedes.

"I will tell him you can't make it, if you want me to."

"No," Lily says. "No, that's a fairly horrid thing to do to him at the last minute. It'll be fine, right?"

"Of course it will," Mary says. "Just forget that it's Valentine's Day and try to have a good time, all right?"

"Right," Lily says.

"Come on, I'll walk with you," Mary says, grabbing her cloak.

"Thank you."

Jeremy is waiting, when they get to the entrance hall. He comes over to meet them at the bottom of the steps. "Hi."

"Hi," Lily says. "Um, you know my friend, Mary, right?"

"Of course," he says. "Hello, Mary."

If he finds it at all odd that Lily has arrived for their date with her roommate in tow, it doesn't show.

Mary smiles. "Jeremy," she says. And then, "I'll see you guys later. Have fun."

She starts to move toward the queue of students waiting to check out and leave for Hogsmeade.

"Mary," Jeremy says, and she stops. "Will you be all right on your own?"

"Yeah, of course," Mary says. "I'm meeting Perdita and Glynis. Perdita says they'll be holding a table at the Three Broomsticks. Thanks, though."

Jeremy nods and turns his attention to Lily.

"That was nice of you," Lily says.

Lily worries, a little, about leaving Mary on her own, after what happened last fall. Mary thinks she's worrying needlessly, and has told her as much, but Lily worries anyway.

Still, it's unlikely anything will happen on a well-traveled path full of their fellow students, and she'll be coming back with Perdita and Glynis.

Jeremy smiles, looks down at his feet, and then back at Lily. "You look really nice."

"You, too."

"So, um, we should go, right?"

"Yeah," Lily says. "Yeah, we should."

"Right."

"Okay."

Oh, God.

It's the last thing either of them says, until they have to give their names to Filch.

And then ... well, at least walking in silence is slightly less awkward than standing in silence.

Sort of.

She'll think of something to say, right?

Before Easter?

OOM: Hogwarts Library, February 1976

  • Jan. 6th, 2011 at 10:06 PM
lilium_evansiae: (the girl with the ginger hair)
"Hi."

Lily looks up from the astronomy essay she's working on to see Jeremy Flourish standing next to her table in the library.

"Hi," she says, trying not to sound too much like she's wondering why he's stopped to talk to her. Because it's odd.

They know each other, of course; he's a Ravenclaw in her year and they've had classes together for five years, but in all that time, Lily's not sure she's ever heard him say anything he didn't have to say. He answers when he's called on in class, and he's clearly brilliant, one of if not the smartest person in their year. Just not exactly loquacious.

"What can I do for you?" Lily asks.

Two tables over, Amity Root glares at them, as Amity Root always does, whenever anyone dares to speak in the library on Sunday morning.

"May I?" Jeremy asks, indicating the chair next to Lily's. "I don't want to disturb her."

"Yeah, sure," Lily says, and Jeremy sits down.

"Um," Jeremy say. "I was wondering if, um ... "

"Yes?" Lily prompts.

"I was wondering if I could borrow your notes from arithmancy last week," Jeremy says.

"My notes from arithmancy?" Lily says.

He's better at arithmancy than she is.

He's better at arithmancy than anyone else in their class.

"Yes. I was reading back over my notes and I think I might have written something down wrong. They don't seem right and I wanted to compare them to someone else's. To see if I can find the error."

"Sure, yeah, no problem," Lily says. "I don't have them with me, but I can give them to you at lunch or something, if that'll work."

"That's great, thanks," Jeremy says. "I'll, um, I'll let you get back to your essay. Sorry to interrupt."

"It's fine. Don't worry about it. I'll see you at lunch, then."

"At lunch." Jeremy stands up, and then immediately sits back down. "Actually," he says. And then stops.

"Yes?"

"I don't need your notes from arithmancy."

"You don't need my notes from arithmancy?" Lily says.

"No."

"Okay. Then I won't bring them to lunch, I guess."

"Right. Look, I what I meant to ask was, um, well there's a Hogsmeade weekend coming up. It's Valentine's Day, actually. And, well, if you don't have plans already, would you ... would you maybe want to go with me? Could I take you to get a drink or something?"

"Um," Lily says.

Because she doesn't know that she's ever thought much about Jeremy Flourish at all, never mind as someone she might want to go on a date with.

But ... well, he's sweet. And he's smart. And he's nice and he's polite and he's humble and he's actually pretty cute, even.

(And then there are the things he's not. He's not the father of the son who is older than she is. And he's not her best friend. He's not Potter. And he's not Severus. He's not Gryffindor or Slytherin. He's ... he's safe. He's a safe choice. He's a decision, he's a reason to say no to everyone else.)

"All right," she says. "Yeah, I'd like that. Thanks."

"Really?" he says, and it's kind of charming, how pleased he looks. Pleased, and maybe just a little surprised. "Great. That's brilliant."

Before Lily can say anything, a shadow falls across the table, and they both look up to see Amity. "Do you two mind? Some of us are trying to study."

"Sorry, Amity," Jeremy says.

"Yeah, sorry," Lily adds.

Amity sighs, disgustedly, and goes back to her table.

Lily has to work at not giggling. "I think we're in trouble," she tells him.

"It would seem," Jeremy says. "I should let you get back to work, shouldn't I?"

"Yeah. Sorry, I've just really got to finish this."

"Me, too, actually."

"But, um, you could bring your stuff over here, if you wanted. We could study together."

"Sure," Jeremy says. "I'll be right back."

Lily watches him cross back to his table to collect his things.

Jeremy Flourish.

Well ... why not?