Hogwarts Clock Tower, 28 November 1976

[lilium_evansiae]

Techinically speaking, the top of the Clock Tower is off limits to students.

Then again, technically Lily is a prefect, which means that those kinds of rules don't exactly apply. Sort of.

But there is probably something at least a little hypocritical about telling off a pair of Ravenclaw fifth years for doing something that is exactly the thing you're about to do yourself.

Of course, if Delilah Quaint and her boyfriend are not even going to try to be quiet or sneaky, but instead come giggling around the corner without making so much as a token check for a prefect in the hallway, they probably deserve to get caught.

But in light of the fact that Lily is on her way to meet her boyfriend at the top of the Clock Tower when she catches them on their way there, she lets them off with a warning.

James is waiting when she reaches the top of the last staircase. (And she is willing to bet he didn't even come close to getting caught on his way here.) The note he handed her at lunch (L - Clock Tower, 2pm - JP) is still in her pocket.

"Hello, James."

Comments

[lilium_evansiae]

Lily laces her fingers through his.

"Of course we can."

She'd actually thought they more or less were.

At least until ...

"But I think you'd still be grinning at me, if that's what this were."

[alotofgood]

"My face is, alas, an open book," James says woefully.

He tugs her along, just a little, towards the tower window, past the clock's gold and copper bells that gives them a decent view of at least part of the Hogwarts grounds.

"You could almost see Hogsmeade from here," he starts to say, "if you look past the trees there. See?"

[lilium_evansiae]

"Almost," she says, letting him lead both her and the conversation.

(For now, at least.)

"It's always both closer and further away than I think it is, when we walk there."

[alotofgood]

"Yeah," James agrees. "There's a lot of the grounds to cover when you're taking that route."

Of course, the Marauders have several other different routes they can take to get into Hogsmeade.

Though it can be quite helpful when three Animagi are trying to tire out their werewolf friend.

"Anyway, I didn't exactly ask you up here to talk about the Hogwarts grounds, which I'm sure you know."

[lilium_evansiae]

"It's not exactly the stuff of secret meetings. The Hogwarts grounds."

Lily leans back against the wall behind her.

"So, what's on your mind, James?"

[alotofgood]

James takes a deep breath.

"D'you remember that day in the library? When you asked me about why I'm called Prongs."

[lilium_evansiae]

Lily's eyes widen, just a little.

She can't say she was expecting that.

"Yeah.

"You told me it was about your Patronus, and then you told me you couldn't tell me."

[alotofgood]

"Right," James says. "Well, I think – I think you need to know this. I've known you for long enough that I know I can trust you."

And he knows he can trust her with Remus' secret as well, if this conversation eventually gets to that (and he can't see how it wouldn't).

"The stag is my patronus, yeah, but it's also the form I can take whenever I want."

He stands straight, almost as though allowing Lily to leave whenever she wants to.

He's not sure how, exactly, she might react.

[lilium_evansiae]

Lily frowns, very hard, thinking about this.

"I don't think I understand.

"What are you talking about?"

(She's knows he's good at Transfiguration. It's just never occurred to her that he's that good.)

[alotofgood]

"In Third Year, we were taught about Animagi," James explains. "Witches or wizards who can — with a bloody lot of hard work and extremely careful practice — turn themselves into an animal.

"They only get the one form, and it's quite common for that form to be the same as the witch or wizard's patronus because it's a reflection of themselves and their inner nature.

"Anyway, that's where I got the idea, really. From Third Year."

[lilium_evansiae]

"I know what an Animagus is," Lily says. "But that's ... James, that takes years and years, doesn't it?

"It's not just some idea you get in Third Year and have pulled off by Fifth, 'bloody lot of hard work and extremely careful practice' or not.

"Is it?"

[alotofgood]

James shrugs.

"It was a lot of bloody hard work and impossibly careful practice, if that helps any.

"Anyway, I didn't do it because I was bored and I just wanted to see what it'd be like or anything.




"A couple Mondays from now, as you probably know, is a full moon."

[lilium_evansiae]

It's sort of like having vertigo, trying to keep up with this conversation.

But, then, 'full moon' pretty much means one of two things.

And Lily really, really doubts this has to do with collecting potions ingredients.

"Is this about Remus?"

[alotofgood]

James takes a breath, holds it for a second, then lets it out.


"Yeah," he finally says. "It's about Remus."

[lilium_evansiae]

Lily nods.

"He's a werewolf, isn't he?"

[alotofgood]

"How long have you suspected?"

Because it's interesting that she managed to come to that conclusion so quickly.

[lilium_evansiae]

"Suspected? Third year.

"But I've been pretty sure I was right since Fourth.

"I'm a girl, James. Who shares a room with four other girls. It's not that hard to notice a monthly cycle.

"Remus is 'ill' every month at the full moon. And two days later I know I'll find Mary lying in bed, eating chocolate and crying over song lyrics."

[alotofgood]

He starts to laugh.

"Right."

But his expression sobers almost immediately as another thought occurs to him.

"... does that mean the rest of them know too?"

[lilium_evansiae]

"I don't know.

"I doubt Perdita does. I'm not sure about Cliona, either. Glynis might -- I think Glynis sees a lot more than she ever mentions, sometimes. Mary might, too.

"But we don't talk about it. It's ... it's not the most important thing about Remus, is it?"

There's a long pause before she adds, "Severus knows. I used to have arguments about it with him."

[alotofgood]

Oh, Merlin.

And they'd been so careful, too.

This is getting complicated.

And completely uncomfortable.

James almost wishes he never brought it up.

(But he knew he had to tell Lily, anyway.)

"... yeah. We suspected he knew," James says, rubbing his face. "That's when the stupid git was nearly killed."

[lilium_evansiae]

"When you went after him.

"Because Remus is the thing at the end of the tunnel, isn't he?"

Lily sighs, and then straightens up.

"Right, so Remus is a werewolf, which ... well, thank you for trusting me enough to tell me."

Even if she already knew.

"I get that. But I still don't understand how that explains why you're an Animagus."

Never mind how.

[alotofgood]

"Really?"

James raises an eyebrow.

"A werewolf, fending for himself, completely alone all night with absolutely no control over his animal instincts and the petrifying fear that when he wakes up, he'll learn he killed innocent people — and you can't figure out a reason why it might be a good idea to have three other animals who know him around?"

[lilium_evansiae]

Lily stares at him.

"You ...

"Oh, God."

[alotofgood]

James shrugs.

He just needed her to know.

He doesn't want to make a big deal out of it, otherwise.


"So, that's why I'm called Prongs."

[lilium_evansiae]

Sorry, James.

Lily's pretty sure this is a big deal.

"Because you turn into a stag so that you can keep your best friend, who is a werewolf, company at the full moon.

"James, that's ... that's utterly mad. And really dangerous. And incredibly loyal."

It's all very James.

And not a little bit terrifying.

[alotofgood]

"If you were in my position, wouldn't you do that?"

It's really, as far as he's concerned, a pretty non-issue.

"If I was Remus, and he was me, I know he wouldn't hesitate to do it for me. All of us, really. We'd all go through it for each other."

[lilium_evansiae]

"I don't know. I don't know what I'd do.

"I mean, I know I'd want to do something, but ...

"What if he hurts one of you?

"It's not like he knows who you are, is it?"

[alotofgood]

Maybe it's best not to tell her that Remus did, in fact, try to kill them all in the early days.

"Actually, I think he knows who we are now," James says. "He seems to recognize our scent, anyway. We're — I suppose we're all a pack, now.

"That's the proper wolf term, isn't it?"

[lilium_evansiae]

"I don't think there really is a proper term for this."

Never mind the fact that Remus isn't really a proper wolf.

"I can't like this. I'm sorry, I just can't."

Lily takes a deep breath and exhales very slowly.

"Please promise me that you are as careful about this as you possibly can be."

[alotofgood]

James reaches forward to take both her hands in his.

He offers her what he hopes is a reassuring smile.

"I promise," he says. "I know this is an incredible amount to take in, and I don't expect you to like it. I'd probably think you were a bit mad if you did like it.

"But we're careful. We've always been careful. We're always going to be careful."

For the past year and a bit, they've never taken it lightly.

[lilium_evansiae]

"You'd better be," Lily says, letting him take her hands.

"I should take you straight to Dumbledore, you know," she says. "I won't -- it's your secret, not mine -- but I should."

[alotofgood]

"Lily ..."

Hand-holding doesn't feel sufficient enough to express how grateful James is for Lily's concern.

He pulls her towards him, then wraps his arms around her in a hug.

"I wish I never had to tell you. But at the same time, I knew I couldn't exactly keep it from you either."

[lilium_evansiae]

"No, I'm glad you told me."

She's not sure she's glad she knows, or that there was something to tell in the first place, but she's glad he told her.

[alotofgood]

"Sort of ruined the whole possibility of a rendez-vous bit, didn't I?" he says a little wryly.

[lilium_evansiae]

Lily leans up to kiss his cheek.

"So you'll just have to owe me one."

[alotofgood]

James goes in for a real kiss.

To seal the deal, as it were.

"I think I can manage that."