Hogwarts Express, December 1975

[lilium_evansiae]

They're not more than forty minutes from King's Cross when Lily finally gets a chance to change into what she still occasionally finds herself thinking of as "real" clothes.

She shoves her robes into her bag and steps back into the corridor, hoping that Mary and Perdita are still saving her a seat in --

"Lily?"

"Sev."

He's standing in the doorway to an otherwise empty compartment, and Lily has no idea just how he managed to get a compartment to himself, given how crowded the train is.

"Can I have a minute?" he asks, jerking his head back towards the compartment.

"Sure," she says, with an easy cheer that even she's not quite aware is coming with an effort.

He waits for her to go into the compartment first, though that means she has to brush past him, which she wouldn't have thought anything of a year ago, but finds makes her slightly uncomfortable now. He takes the seat next to hers, not quite close enough that their knees touch.

"What do you need?" she asks.

"Did you really kiss him? Pettigrew?"

"Yeah," Lily says, deliberately casual. "I did."

"Why?"

Because no one ever had, she thinks, but of course, she can't tell Severus that. She'd be as bad as Potter if she said that.

So she shrugs and says, "It's Christmas and there was mistletoe and I wanted to."

Severus scowls. "One of Potter's mates?"

"Well," Lily says, trying for the same easy cheer of earlier, "at least it wasn't Black."

Sev's scowl deepens, and he turns to face the window.

"Hey," Lily says, nudging him in the arm with her elbow, "that was a joke. Not a very good one, maybe, but still a joke. And it was just a kiss. It wasn't ... I'm not looking for a boyfriend or anything."

Sev turns back to face her, that same odd intensity in his eyes that she'd seen in the courtyard, right after Mary got hexed, and it feels like half the air in the compartment has suddenly gone.

And then the door slides open, and there's a rush of colder air and Fenton Blane, sixth year Gryffindor prefect, sticks his head into their compartment. "Sorry," he says, "but I need your help, Evans."

She stands up very quickly. "What's happened?" She looks at him more closely. "And is your hair dark green?"

"Dueling in the corridors," he says, which Lily suspects answers both questions.

"Potter?" Severus asks.

Fenton nods. "And Black. And Mulciber and Avery. Rivers and I have them in hand, though."

"Is his hair green, too?" Lily asks.

"No, but he's broken out in a lot of spots."

Severus snorts what might be a laugh. Lily almost feels sorry for the duelers. Crispin Rivers, Ravenclaw, is a good Head Boy and Lily likes him well enough, but he's a bit vain about his looks.

"Unfortunately, we weren't the only ones caught in the crossfire," Fenton says. "Elinor Perks was there, too."

"Oh, dear."

Elinor Perks is an incredibly excitable second year. Lily has to assume she has hidden reserves of bravery, because she's in Gryffindor, but the girl screamed when a spider landed on her parchment like the thing had performed the Cruciatus Curse on her.

"Her ears are on back-to-front, and she's hysterical. Cliona's looking for her brother, but I don't how much use Laurence is going to be. Can you please get her to stop crying?"

"I can try," Lily says. "I'll see you later, Sev, all right?"

Severus nods, and turns again to look out the window. Lily follows Fenton down the corridor, and then spends the rest of the trip trying to get Elinor to calm down. Her older brother is, as Fenton expected, not much use, but at least his being there means that Lily doesn't have to stay with her while until Mr. and Mrs. Perks can be found at King's Cross.

The students spill out onto the platform and through the barrier, meeting parents and contributing to the general bustle of the station. Severus, however, is standing still, craning his neck, looking at the passing crowds.

His parents forgot to meet the train once, when they were second years. Her parents had given him a ride, and Lily had sat squashed in the backseat between Petunia and Severus, both furiously unhappy.

It had been a terribly uncomfortable trip home.

Now she stops next to him. "Sev?"

"Lily!" her mother cries, and the next moment she's swept up in a hug. "Your father has a pile of essays to grade, and Petunia was, er, busy, so it's just me, I'm afraid. Hello, Severus," she adds.

"Hello, Mrs. Evans."

Lily's mother looks around. "Are your parents--? Do you need a lift?"

Severus moves away from them abruptly, without answering. Lily follows his gaze to see Mulciber and Avery, and Lily sincerely hopes they lost the duel, because if that's what the winners look like, Potter and Black will be indistinguishable from giant slugs.

Mrs. Evans turns to her daughter. "Did I say something I shouldn't have?"

"He just doesn't want his friends to know," Lily says.

And he doesn't want them to see him accept help from a Muggle, she thinks, and then shoves the thought from her head.

"Well," her mother says, "we'll just get a cup of tea then and see if they arrive before we go, shall we?"

So Lily and her mother sit in King's Cross, and drink tea, and Lily tells her about school, and her mother catches her up on the news from home.

Twenty minutes later, Lily and Severus are the only two Hogwarts students left, and she goes back over to him. "Come on, Sev. Let us give you a lift, all right?"

He looks from Lily to her mother and back, and then nods, once. "Thank you."

They wind up a few steps behind her mother as they walk to the car. "Don't tell anyone. At school. About this," Severus says, not looking at her.

"I won't," she says, because of course she won't, but she doesn't like that his request makes her feel oddly ashamed.

Doesn't like that her answer makes her feel that way even more.

It's another terribly uncomfortable trip home.