Watch What I Can Do

28 May 1977, The Quidditch Pitch

2013-04-25T01:26:35Z

The morning of the Quidditch final is overcast with dull, grey, heavy clouds. Lily, looking out her dormitory room window, scowls a bit at it.

"Don't worry. The clouds will burn off before the match," Glynis says, from across the room and without so much as a glance at the window, and in that cheerfully sure way she has of being certain of things she can't possibly be certain of.

Glynis is almost invariably correct, however, about things she says in that particular manner, so Lily turns her attention away from the sky and to the three of her roommates who aren't on the Quidditch team. Cliona was gone when Lily woke up, though whether there actually was some sort of planned dawn team meeting or she just couldn't sleep, Lily doesn't know.

She is not, however, at all surprised to discover that while the Gryffindor common room is practically vibrating with energy and the hum of voices, there's no sign of Cliona, James, or their teammates.

They've been fairly scarce these last few weeks, as the final gets closer and the practices get longer. Lily has mostly seen her boyfriend in classes, at meals, and on the handful of occasions they've managed to be in the common room at the same time. (And if Lily has, once or twice, taken advantage of those occasions to slip completed copies of some of the more time-consuming Potions assignments into James' bag, well, what of it?)

But it's finally here, the last match of the year, Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw, with the Quidditch Cup on the line. One way or the other, it'll be over and done with in a few hours.

It's felt different this year than it did last year, the run-up to the final game. Partly because, while Gryffindor and Ravenclaw both want to win (and both can reasonably expect to), and while each house is perfectly capable of being a bit snide about the other when the occasion calls for it, it's not like it is with Gryffindor and Slytherin (but then, what it?). And partly because, Lily thinks, it's all so different between her and James this year. There's been no grand promise to win the Quidditch Cup for her this time around, and she's glad. Because the game has enough riding on it in and of itself, and because while Lily definitely wants James to win, she wants James to win for himself and his teammates and Gryffindor. Not for her.

The clouds have, as predicted by Glynis, burned off by the time the students reach the stands and it's a perfect day for a Qudditch game. Lily takes a spot between Mary and Remus, which cannot properly be called a seat because none of them do all that much sitting during the match. It's not the sort of match you sit through.

Because it is, as the teams mount their brooms and the Snitch darts out of sight, really and truly anyone's game. Gryfindor and Ravenclaw are fielding incredibly good and evenly matched teams. Gryffindor has the better Chasers (of course), but Ravenclaw has the more accomplished keeper. If Ravenclaw has more precise Beaters, Gryffindor has more creative ones, and both teams use the Bludgers very effectively. And as for the Chasers . . . Raquel Clayworth and Ellery West are often little more than blurs of red and blue (respectively), weaving in and out of twelve other players, a referee, and three darting balls in pursuit of what appears to be a particularly elusive Snitch.

It's not just a good game, it's a great one, one for the record books, and so good in fact that Lily keeps finding herself watching the game instead of watching James. (And watching James is easily one of her very favorite ways to spend her time these days.) The team trades goals, and the lead, and the occasional foul for the better part of four hours. And the students watching the match cheer and gasp and occasionally hold their breath.

And like all great Quidditch matches, it ends abruptly and spectacularly, with Raquel Clayworth diving fifty feet almost impossibly vertically to close her hand around the Snitch. And there's a proper explosion of noise Gryffindor's end of the stands, and no one actually hears the announcement that Gryffindor has won 470-310.

But that's exactly what they've done.

James, Quaffle still in hand, spins 270 degrees in the air and looks straight at Lily -- never mind the distance from him to her -- with the Jamesiest of all Jamesish smiles. And for one second, Lily thinks her knees might have forgotten how to work.

Then James vanishes into a scarlet-clad, multi-armed, tangled mid-air hug of Quidditch players.

"Come on," Remus says, pulling her attention back to her immediate area. "We should move away from Sirius before we hear any plans for this evening's celebration which we cannot, as prefects, condone."

(And if that takes them down closer to the field and the players, well, again, what of it? There are congratulations to give, after all.)

"Nobody's going to sleep tonight, are they?" Lily asks, as they weave their way through a sea of cheering Gryffindors.

"Not a chance," Remus says.

Because Gryffindor -- and James -- just won the Cup.

And a celebration is definitely in order.

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7 May 1977

2012-12-16T02:40:16Z

It's one of those things Lily has noticed about James. When he's interested in something he's talking about, invested and committed and involved in it -- he's just so animated. His eyes are bright and alert, his hands make grand sweeping gestures as he talks. She doesn't even have to be able to hear what he's saying to know he's on a topic he's excited about.

It's ridiculously attractive.

She doesn't even mind that the topic currently causing this animation is Quidditch.

And it's not really that she would necessarily choose to sit by during a two-hour dissection of the two-hour Slytherin-Hufflepuff match she just watched, but she doesn't mind, either. (It helps everyone's mood, of course, that Slytherin played their worst match of the season, and given their other two losses, that is saying something.)

James takes Quidditch very seriously, and even though Gryffindor won't play either Hufflepuff or Slytherin again till next year, there is still post-game analysis that must be done with the rest of the team. And Lily likes that James takes Quidditch -- his commitment to his team, the responsibility of being Captain -- seriously. She likes it a great deal.

And if that means she has to sit on the other side of the common room for a couple of hours, playing chess with Mary and playing very badly because she's spending as much time watching her boyfriend talk to his team as the she is watching the board . . . well.

He's ridiculously attractive.

That said, neither she nor her poorly commanded chess pieces have any objection when the team's conversation finally breaks up. Or when James, who still clearly has too much energy to spend the afternoon sitting in the common room, suggests that they take a walk around the grounds.

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17 April 1977, Hogwarts

2012-09-14T02:35:01Z

"So, how'd it go?" Lily asks, as they make their way back to Gryffindor tower.

They've been at a brief, post-Easter-holidays meeting the Head Boy and Head Girl have held with the prefects, which can be summed up, Welcome back to Hogwarts. We really hope the two weeks away have dissipated the tensions that defined last term, but we're not counting on it. Good luck!

Remus frowns at her. "The meeting? You were there."

"Not the meeting, silly, your date. With Angela?"

"How d'you know I had a date with Angela?"

Lily looks at him and waits for realization to dawn.

"James," Remus says, when it does.

"That, and I heard Black talking to you about it on the train. So, how did it go?"

"It was nice," he says, after a moment. "I liked her. I had a good time, I think she did, too."

"Did you kiss her?"

"I fail to see how that's any of your business, Evans," Remus says, mock prefectorially.

"And a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell?"

"Exactly."

"Ah, so you did kiss her, then. Must have. Or there wouldn't be anything for you to not tell," Lily says, cheerfully. "Plus, you're blushing."

"I am not."

"Touch of the sun, then?"

"Yes."

"In a corridor?"

"Yes."

"At half nine at night?"

"Yes."

Lily laughs, and a second later, Remus joins in.

"Well, whether you kissed her or not, I'm glad you had a good time."

"Thank you. And thank you for your help the other afternoon."

"You're very welcome, Remus. So, are you going to see her again?"

Remus shakes his head. "I don't think so."

"Why not?"

He shrugs. "I don't know. Just ... we had a good, but not really a good enough time to ... "

"To try to keep something going long distance?" Lily asks.

"More or less."

Lily stops walking and studies him for a moment, debating. When he stops, too, and turns back to look at her, she asks, and "D'you want to talk about the more or the less?"

"There's nothing much to say, Lily. She's pretty and charming and I had a good time, but she's in London and I'm here, and she's a Muggle and I'm a Wizard. I don't see a lot of future, there."

"Can I ask you something that might be a bit rude?" Lily asks.

"If I said no, would it stop you?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Go ahead."

"Do ... d'you like girls, Remus?"

"What? Of course I do."

"Well, I'm not trying to offend you, it's just that I've known you for what, six years now? And I've never seen you so much as ask a girl to go to Hogsmeade with you. I can't even remember any real gossip or speculation about your fancying anyone. A couple of girls who fancy you, sure. But not the other way around. And I get that long distance is hard, and I get that the Muggle-Wizard thing is complicated, trust me, but ... I dunno. The way you said 'more or less' it just ... it made that sound like those were more excuses than reasons. And you are a -- "

"The word you're looking for is werewolf."

"Actually, I was thinking I would say bit of a catch, but -- "

"I'm really not."

"You're clever, you're kind, you're thoughtful, you're brave, you're resourceful, you're reasonably handsome -- "

"'Reasonably'?"

"Well, you're not James, but I'm a bit biased. All in all, though, you're a good bloke, Remus."

"And a werewolf."

"That's not who you are, though."

Remus' smile doesn't reach his eyes. "Yeah, it is." He hesitates, then nods toward the empty classroom behind them. And since Lily can see where this is not a conversation to have in a corridor, she nods, and then follows him in, pulling the door shut behind her.

It takes him a moment to start speaking again. "I've never told anyone."

"What d'you mean? You just told me."

"No, you already knew. You worked it out. James and Sirius and Peter worked it out. All I had to do was confirm it. Or even just not deny it. Telling someone would be ... I'm not sure I could. And I don't really need to invite any further scrutiny of the pattern. I mean, it is supposed to be a secret, after all. D'you think a girl I was going out with wouldn't notice?"

"No, she probably would. Unless you were dating someone incredibly thick, but I don't think that would make you very happy."

"Right. Besides, wouldn't exactly be fair to her, is it? Let her date a Dark Creature unawares."

"That's not what you are."

"Yeah, Lily, it is. Look, I know you mean well, and I know you're trying to reassure me that there's more to me than the wolf, but the thing is ... I know that. But it's still a part, a significant, immutable, inevitable part of who I am. I'm in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. I answered a question on my Defense Against the Dark Arts OWL about how to identify myself. Signs of a werewolf: he's sitting in my chair and he's wearing my clothes."

"Fine, it's part of you. But you know, Remus, you may find that there's a girl out there who would decide that the clever, thoughtful boy that's the rest of you is worth it. After all, James and Black and Peter, they've known for years, and as far as I can tell, there's not a damned thing on Earth they wouldn't do for you. They've decided the boy's more important than the wolf -- "

"Yes, and that's three more people than I ever thought would make that decision."

"But it doesn't mean that they're the only three who ever will. In fact, clever lad that you are, you should have spotted that there's at least one more person who feels that way, or I'd hardly be having this conversation with you."

Remus actually smiles. "What is it Cliona's fond of saying?"

"'Fair enough'."

"Right. Fair enough, then."

"Just think about it all, all right?"

"Fine. I'll think about it. But for now," Remus says, opening the door back to the corridor, "what I'm going to do is get you back to your boyfriend before he sends out search parties."

"Don't be ridiculous. James wouldn't send out search parties. He'd come looking himself."

"Probably with Sirius in tow."

"Can't have that," Lily says. "Besides, we've got class in the morning and I still need to unpack."

"Back to Gryffindor Tower posthaste, then," Remus says. "And, Lily?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

Lily smiles. "Any time."

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6 April 1977, London

2012-06-30T22:00:38Z

Lily is quite relieved when she looks out the train window and sees the outskirts of London.

Of course, now that she's reached London, she has to deal with her interview, but at least that's something to do. The problem with this trip is that there has been entirely too much thinking and entirely no doing of anything.

Now there will be plenty of doing things, starting with finding James, who is meeting her at Euston Station. She had mentioned, one afternoon at Hogwarts, that she wasn't actually sure how to get to Diagon Alley from the Muggle train station and did he know the closest Tube stop? And James had assured her that he would meet her at Euston Station and make sure she got to Diagon Alley safely and on time and not to worry about it at all.

The train rolls to a stop, and Lily picks up her handbag and makes her way with the jostling morning crowd out onto the platform.

All she has to do now is find James.

Or, more likely, wait for James to find her.

(He's showing an amazing talent for it, recently.)

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30 March 1977, Gryffindor Common Room

2012-02-21T03:38:11Z

Something is very wrong in Marauderland.

James and Black haven't spoken to each other since James' birthday. Peter has been going around with a nervous expression (not totally unlike the one worn by a kid whose parents are fighting). Remus seems to be spending an inordinate amount of time in the library, and she's starting to think he's deliberately avoiding her, too.

Of course, Lily is still less than completely well-pleased with any of them (especially Black). But this is not the natural order of things, and she'd have to be incredibly stupid not to realize that she's at the center of it, whether she wants to be or not.

"You look like you think I'm here to slap you," she tells Remus on Tuesday evening, sitting down at his table in the library without asking.

Remus looks down at the table and then back to her. "I wouldn't exactly blame you if you did."

"If I didn't slap James, I'm not going to slap you," Lily says.

Remus smiles a little. "What about Sirius?"

"Haven't decided yet," Lily says. She's mostly kidding.

Mostly.

"Still," Remus says, "I'm very sorry for my part in what happened. We all should have known better."

"Thank you," Lily says.

"I know you know this," Remus says, "but James knows how lucky he is."

Lily almost laughs. "Thank you," she says again. "How are things, with the four of you?"

She could ask James -- she has asked James -- but she'd like the impression from someone slightly removed from the blast site.

Remus shrugs a little. "A little cool."

"How much of an understatement is that?"

"A pretty significant one," Remus admits.

"I just don't understand why Black did what he did," Lily says. "I mean, I understand why he did it to me; he doesn't like me. I don't understand why he did it to James."

Remus sighs. "It's not that he doesn't like you, it's that he's scared of you. Or, I guess, he'd scared of what you represent."

"And what's that?"

"Lily, nothing in six years has ever taken James' time or attention away from us -- from Sirius -- the way you do."

"I'm not trying to take James away from any of you."

"I know that," Remus says. "But the simple fact of the matter is, well, sometimes you do. I'm not saying that you shouldn't. I mean, you're his girlfriend, you're entitled to some evenings and lunches with James. But I think Sirius worries that you could take all of James' time if you wanted. And that scares him. And even at the best of times, Sirius doesn't always think things through to their logical conclusion before he does them." Remus looks down for a moment, and Lily gets the feeling that they're not just talking about her and James' birthday any more.

"He doesn't always see what comes after the brilliant idea he thinks he's had," Remus continues. "It just doesn't occur to him that there will be repercussions, especially not if they'd be for people other than him. Sometimes I think ... I'm not sure anyone ever told Sirius where the lines you don't cross are, that there are things that are just beyond what you do, that there are limits. He didn't mean for James to get hurt. I don't think he even really meant for you to get hurt. I think he just wanted what he wanted, and he didn't think further than that."

"So he's six," Lily says, and Remus laughs.

"In a lot of ways, yeah. He's six."

It's not anything she hasn't kind of already worked out for herself, but it's nice to have someone else's opinion. Especially someone who knows everyone involved better than she does.

She's going to have to have a talk with James' best friend. She knows that.

But it takes her another day to actually go looking for him.

She finds him sprawled on a couch in the common room, flipping through a Quidditch magazine and managing to project that aura of Any second now, I will realize how bored I am and how boring all of you are and I will go some place where everyone is much more interesting and fabulous, and where I will realize that I am still bored and they are still boring because I am Sirius Black and the rest of the world isn't.

Lily's never been a fan of it.

But James is at tea with Dumbledore, and Peter and Remus aren't around, so it's probably as good a time as any to talk to Black.

Not that she knows what she's going to say, even after thinking about it since she talked to Remus.

But she'll figure it out, right?

"Black, have you got a minute?"

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Saturday, 5 February 1977, OOM-but-not

2012-01-15T23:57:46Z

It's amazing, sometimes, how little time it takes to feel like you've always been doing something.

Case in point: dating James Potter.

Related case in point: staying up all night when the moon is full, until James and the others cross back across the grounds and all is well.

And further related case in point: slipping off to the end of the universe to get a nap after staying up all night when the moon is full.

Which is why, a yawning Lily makes her way back down the stairs that lead up to the rooms above the main bar, sidesteps two waitrats, and heads over to Bar to return her room key.

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